Why do we resist things such as making certain decisions, having a difficult conversation, or taking care of ourselves and putting “ME” first? Mostly, it is due to the perception that we will disappoint or hurt the feelings of loved ones. The hardest things to overcome are not meeting the expectations of others and being honest with ourselves.
It’s a fact that sometimes choosing to put yourself before someone else, helps the other person know exactly where you stand and where they stand. They may not like it, but in time, knowing the truth is much more appreciated than not. For many people, avoiding conflict or uncomfortable situations becomes the norm. For others, they find solace in alcohol, drugs, or just putting up with a stagnant living situation.
Even in writing this blog I’ve experienced my own internal resistance and have taken several days to write this. Who knows if art mimics life or life mimics art? However, by observing my own resistance in dealing with uncomfortable circumstances, and wanting to people-please rather than deal with conflict, I recognize resistance as a form of extreme patience.
Detaching and disconnecting from feelings and emotions may seem like good options, but over time, little resentments build until ultimately, a reckoning occurs. This reckoning can take many forms, such as a bizarre health ailment, chronic body pains, mental/emotional volatility, and even cancer. What is not expressed gets repressed, so why do so many choose to suffer? The fortunate souls that have no problem expressing their feelings without guilt or remorse tend to be the healthiest individuals, while those that suffer in silence tend to have “inconvenient” health crises that pop up.
Finding the balance is essential, as well as learning to recognize why you resist something, especially if it will help you gain more ease and increase your well-being. While changes usually happen spontaneously and cannot be planned, resisting change comes as natural to us as breathing oxygen. We may think we have control over change, but usually there comes a tipping point that prompts change to happen.
I know this full well from when I first got under Network care in the last year of my chiropractic studies. It would take me an hour and a half to drive to the practice for an adjustment that was 15-20 minutes long. I had no problem doing it when I could breathe better, decompress from stress, and have that time to take care of me. However, once I got more connected and started to unconsciously feel the underlying reasons for my body and spinal tension, I would conveniently talk myself out of going to get an adjustment. My excuses were: I have finals to study for, students to tutor, patient files to write up, it takes almost four hours to go and come back.
I didn’t make this connection until I had my own chiropractic practice and had members who started to disappear once they were starting to improve, and were on the verge of making positive changes, and having breakthroughs. Learning to take care of ourselves and honor our evolution, growth, and self-empowerment is far from easy. If I hadn’t experienced this resistance to continue with my adjustments, I wouldn’t have understood what was happening with my members.
Debilitating health ailments or chronic pain are great motivators for many to seek help to find more ease, but building a strong mind-body connection and trust with your body takes a considerable amount of work and patience. This is where you can devote extreme patience to resistance or gain self-mastery. Being able to differentiate between the two will give you the ability to push through the resistance when you truly need to take care of yourself and shift into the next level of self-love and empowerment. You have the power to choose. Know that you can never go wrong in taking care of yourself and putting YOU first.
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