Buried Experiences

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Have you ever experienced certain behavior patterns that have hampered your ability to connect with either family, loved ones, or friends? Just recently I became painfully aware of an event that occurred in my past, which I have blocked out for over thirty years.

Throughout my life, I would get certain flashes, but it never persisted long enough for me to become aware of what it signified. In many ways, I walled off this event in the back of my consciousness, in order for it to never be experienced again. However, blocking this traumatic event has created certain behavior patterns that made it hard for me to trust others, especially the ones closest to me. A lot of my actions and reactions to situations were conditioned and hard-wired for self-preservation and protection.

The reason for sharing, is because the moment I became conscious of this painful event, as scary and petrifying as it was, it has freed me. In a bizarre way, when we face our greatest fears or past painful experiences, we open up and bring light into some element of ourselves that needed to be seen and integrated.

Self-reflection helps, but sometimes getting the help from a professional to help you deal with these issues can be beneficial in assisting you reclaim all of yourself. So when you find yourself repeating certain patterns such as negative ways in dealing with personal relationships, boss or co-worker issues, it may behoove you to take a deeper look into any deep, neglected buried issues.

The moment we can reconcile past experiences and traumas, it gives us permission to live more authentically. We are able to live more presently in life, making decisions, instead of reacting with past conditioned responses to avoid pain. Likewise very pleasurable circumstances we have experienced, also gets hard-wired, and we seek that experience once more.

Make it a habit each day to connect with your body and check in to see how your body responds to different emotions. How does your body feel when you are angry? Do you feel hot, do your palms get sweaty, does your breathing get shallow? How about when you feel scared? Is it the same sensations as being angry, or are there some subtle differences? By taking the time to experience your body’s response to certain emotions will call attention when you are feeling particular emotions and your mind is trying to block that awareness.

Feeling your emotions and understanding that emotions are “energy in motion”, will give you a better understanding of how to navigate when fears, anxiety, sadness, and anger arise. By feeling any particular emotion without judging it, helps the energy flow and not get lodged in the recesses of some part of your body.

Rhythmical breathing helps as you feel and process your emotions. It’s far from easy to face your inner demons and buried feelings, but know that behind every buried experience is a hidden treasure just waiting to be discovered. The treasure is another element of yourself that was lost and is now being reunited with the whole. Recognize it’s not about forcing yourself to face buried experiences, and timing is a big factor in allowing you the perfect opportunity to integrate a disowned part of yourself. Be courageous when the time does arise, and know that the discovery of yourself is worth the challenge.

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