Allowing is a better term for the act of surrendering. A while back at one of my mind body talks I was asked what word could be used instead of the word, surrender? I thought about this question and came up with the word, allowing. For this woman, surrender conjured up the feelings of losing and being weak.
I have observed that anytime people resist change and don’t surrender to what is happening in life, many experience knee stiffness, pain, or swelling. After suggesting the word allowing, it brought a smile to her face and I also realized that the word allowing felt gentler and yet, more empowering.
It’s fascinating how words can create certain feelings and become triggers for one person, while not affecting another. Besides words, the tone and body language used can also create specific feelings in the intended listener. Communicating how you feel or what you are thinking is one of the most difficult things to do, due to the fact that everyone perceives their life through unique filters.
If you wish to truly connect with loved ones, friends, and others, know that your attention, tone, and ultimately your actions, impact others a lot more than just the words. Check in on how it makes you feel when you have someone who does not acknowledge your feelings or is not being present to listen to you.
Allowing others to be heard and seen is one of the greatest gifts you can give to them as well as to yourself. To be seen and heard helps validate your existence and presence in the world. Tension amplifies not only with another, but also inside of you, when you are not present and when you choose to impose your agenda on others. Make a conscious intent to be present when you are being asked to listen, and resist making comments until the sharer is done. By allowing another to speak their truth without being interrupted, helps to create trust and safety.
Besides being aware of how you communicate with others, be aware and kinder to yourself as well. Allow yourself to trust your inner knowing and ability to make choices that serve your highest good. You may find it challenging to speak your truth knowing that it may not be received well by another party. However, by not speaking your truth, you are not being kind to yourself.
Furthermore, tune in to your body’s signals and identify the yes and no answers of your body. Allow yourself to trust your body’s signals in order to make the choices that are uniquely true for you. Don’t let the should’s, have to’s, or ought to’s sway you from following your truth. By doing so you welcome more ease and harmony into your body and life.