One of the strongest and maybe “the” strongest energetic bond is between a mother and son. So it’s not surprising in the month of May we celebrate both Boy’s Day and Mother’s Day in Hawaii.
Since 1948, Boy’s Day has been called International Children’s Day. The Japanese government declared this day to be a national holiday to celebrate the happiness of children and the expression of gratitude toward mothers. I find it fascinating that even though the mother is celebrated in May already, they wanted another day to do the same. I’m not disrespecting mothers, but why stop the celebration of being a boy?
In my Hawaiʻi Herald article coming out on May 6th, I write about the boy energy and how to use the energy of “good” and “bad” boys in order to become a respectable man of substance. By embracing and embodying the bad, as well as the good traits of boys, you can become more whole and authentic (for the full article, pick up a copy from Times Supermarket or Don Quijote).
Going along with this polarity concept, such as light and dark, good and bad, it’s of absolute importance to find a balance between the two. Using both energies allow us to thrive in life instead of just going through the motions.
Balance and harmony between two opposing forces or energies can only be achieved effectively when you are centered and grounded in the knowing of your true self. Intuition combined with confirmation by your gut instinct will help you to achieve this self-knowledge and owning your authenticity.
Depending on how you were raised or conditioned, you either attempted to behave, listen to authority figures, and be “good,” or you were a rebel and deemed “bad,” since you acted up and challenged the authorities.
Although I am a rebel at heart, being the second born, I observed how my brother would get into trouble when he lied to our parents or did not listen, so I chose to behave and be “good.” This behavior pattern gave me the moniker of “momma’s boy” and “do-gooder.” It’s interesting how I felt that this was a badge of honor growing up, but when I decided to start trusting my inner truth and owning my authenticity, being a “good” boy had more shades of gray and wasn’t so clear cut.
As I pursued my life path and was true to myself, and as much as I didn’t want to go against my parents, it initially didn’t go well with them. One of the first things that I did at the ripe age of 28 was to tell my dad NO for the first time. I wasn’t being defiant or trying to be difficult. I had long standing plans that I could not change.
My usual behavior pattern was to shift my plans to accommodate my parents. It may sound ridiculous, but that’s what I would do. Since I had a family at that time, I sometimes could not be the “good” son, because I had to be the “good” husband and father.
Life is always filled with choices. Know that whatever choice you make is neither good nor bad, and many times a choice you make that is right for you may not sit well with others. This is especially true when your choice doesn’t give them a benefit, however, it’s paramount that you make choices that are aligned with your highest values without letting others sway or influence you to do otherwise.
The one important lesson that I have learned in life is that choosing yourself first and being selfish is not bad. Not choosing yourself and letting others dictate your life and what you do or don’t do is.
Taking ownership and responsibility for each choice you make is your power and your saving grace when others think or tell you differently. You are the only one that must live with yourself 24/7, so by accepting your perceived good and bad qualities, you become empowered to embrace your authentic self.
Don’t sacrifice who you are for the sake of another, because at a certain point you cannot override who you are and your innate, natural tendencies. Be at peace by being self-accepting, self-loving, and grateful for all the experiences you have in life.